Getting over and moving on after a heartbreak

Going through a breakup can be the most difficult and painful experience because you are heartbroken, you are confused, you are angry, you are sad, you don't know what to do, you are feeling insecure, low-self esteem and feeling beaten. It is like your world and everything in it has crashed and you are not sure if you will meet another guy like him again. The experience is even worse if you are breaking up with a guy you consider your first love, or a guy you have fallen deeply, madly in love with or someone you have been with for a long period of time. Multiply all the negative emotions times (2); times (3) if he is the one that ended the relationship and times (4) if there was infidelity involved.

I know the feeling because I was just recently there and it is not experience that I would wish on even my worst enemy, but it is a natural part of life and the dating and courting experience. Even Halle Berry had her heart broken, so get ready it will happen at some point especially with how brutal the dating scene are these days. One thing that I have learned is that after every breakup, I get stronger and wiser in the type of man that I want to call my Prince Charming. Very many years ago, I craved the sexy bad, rugged boy who would rock my world and have my hair blowing in the wind, but after my second painful experience with the bad boy my craving for him quickly shifted and I said, 'never more!' So, the point is to come out of every breakup stronger and wiser but still open to loving and learning. The worst thing that you can do is close yourself up like I did at one point and vow to swear off men forever! I have come to the realization that every failed relationship is supposed to lead you closer to that Mr. Right and it takes longer for some women because they are the ones that are slower to learn mistakes made and therefore history repeats itself.

Here are my (5) steps to dealing dealing with and getting over a heartbreak.

Step 1)  To deal with the heartbreak, take the first couple of days to cry and bawl your eyes out. Get all that mess out of your system until you cannot cry anymore. I lock myself in a room and force myself to cry, scream and yell, just make sure to remove any valuables and breakables and fill the room with pillows, tissues, balloons, crackers and water. After the third day I usually have a pounding headache, sore eyes, hungry stomach and tired muscles. Now we are ready to rock and roll.

Step 2) I take a long, warm shower, put on my favorite scented lotion and favorite casual outfit. Then I take out my journal go a quiet park and I write everything, I write how I feel, what I thought about the relationship, what I did  wrong, everything he did wrong, the good and bad things about the guy and what can I learn from the experience. Just write and write and pour out the emotions on paper. Later on, I package every item that reminds of the villain and place it casually in a box and the box goes into the usually neglected part of my apartment.

Step 3) I call all my favorite girl and guy friends and I schedule fun, activities to do with them over the week. We go shopping, out for coffee, to the bar, we have a girls night in and whatever we can think of. Avoid talking about the breakup too much with your friends, or they will start to avoid you and thats a no-no in this situation. Focus on the fun experiences that you are having with friends.

Step 3) List your hobbies and find time to do those things you enjoy doing but might have neglected. Who knows it could be your ticket to rich and fame. The goal is to stay busy and active and keep your mind on positive things.

Step 4) Get ready to get back on the dating scene in a couple of months, any longer and you will be closing yourself off and possibly missing out on your Mr. Right. Remember your list of good and bad things, use those things to your advantage when giving out your number or choosing a date.

Step 5) Whenever I start to think of him again or regress back, I give myself (5) mins max to cry or feel somber, no more no less. I time myself too and after (5) mins it's time to move on to bigger and better things because life is too short to waste pondering over a negative experience.

One thing to always remember is that breakups are natural and someday you will look back on these days and laugh and wonder what you were thinking weeping over this loser. Don't dwell too much on the guy, give yourself time to feel sad and then move on because life is too short and he is probably already moved on. While you are thinking and weeping over him, he is already toasting another chic so get on with it. And never let your self-esteem suffer too long because of some guy, you were beautiful before he came into your life and beautiful when he exits. And most importantly do not punish other men for the mistake of one. Live. Love and Learn, that's my motto.

Enjoy!